i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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