It's Friday. Sex?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
