I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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