he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
