How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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