I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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