All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think a kid would responsible me up
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
