hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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