he puts the penis in happiness.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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