you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
