why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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