Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize
