Can Purell be used as lube?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
