Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
