I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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