is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
