I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
