i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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