Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
All the doctor said was why
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
