Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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