i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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