Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
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