i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
