He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
