wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
