yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
