You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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