I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize