the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
