Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
