I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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