I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
