So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
