apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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