3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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