She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
