I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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