just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
