i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
