you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
