The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's rum buckets o'clock
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
