fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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