We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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