Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
