i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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