I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
