three words: i give head
three words: not that well
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize
