Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
