My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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