Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
someone owes me an orgasm
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
soo... how was my night?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
