i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
