did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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