I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
