I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
