I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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