Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
