i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
