He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
