my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
