Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
