I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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