Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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